The heartbreak that comes from suffering a miscarriage is immense, especially for women who have been trying to conceive for a while. It can be feel terribly isolating, but the experience is not all uncommon; according to the American Pregnancy Association, about 10-25 percent of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. Although pregnancy loss is fairly common, but it’s not a topic openly discussed; because of that, there is often a lack of support for patients, women, or couples who experience pregnancy loss.
At Arizona Center for Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility, we’re with you for every step of your pregnancy journey—that includes pregnancy loss, if it occurs. Here’s what we want you to understand about miscarriage.
You’re not alone; it’s not your fault.
Pregnancy loss can be a very isolating experience. Because there is a stigma around miscarriage, many women do not feel comfortable opening up and sharing their stories. In the absence of other women saying, “I’ve been there too,” it may seem like you’re the only one who’s gone through this. These may lead to feelings of shame or guilt, like something you did was wrong; but that’s nowhere near the case, and while you may feel alone, it’s important to remind yourself, pregnancy loss is an experience shared by many. You are not alone.
You are allowed to set boundaries.
This is all to say that you have every right to ask for space at work, with friends, with family, and from social media. If it feels helpful for you to talk about you’re going through, sharing might feel right for you. However, you also have the right to set boundaries; you don’t owe anyone an update, explanation, or story. Give yourself space to grieve and heal, for however long feels right for you.
There’s no wrong way to feel or react.
Every person’s experience with pregnancy loss is unique; there is no correct way to feel. You will likely experience a lot of different emotions after a miscarriage—shock, grief, fear, guilt, emptiness, jealousy, loneliness, confusion—and you are entitled to all these. It’s important to note, your body will react in different ways too, from the physical intensity you experience to the amount of time it takes your body to realize it’s no longer pregnant. It’ll take some time to recover, both physically and emotionally. In time, you may start thinking about the possibility of trying again, and if that’s what you want to do, our team is here to help you take the next steps.
Support looks different for everyone.
How you choose to take care of yourself and seek support will be extremely personal and specific as well. It may be difficult to understand what you need for yourself or from others, or what would be most helpful. You may find that sharing your story with supportive friends and family will help you feel validated and empowered, or you may feel that it’s too painful to open up about. You might want to be distracted, find a relaxing physical activity to enjoy, or meet a friend for coffee—while you’re healing, do whatever feels right to you. And, keep in mind, some people will want to help and support you, but may not know how to, so keep communication open and give them guidance in what you feel you need.
Miscarriage isn’t the end.
A pregnancy loss can feel disheartening, but most women who have suffered a miscarriage have gone on to carry a pregnancy on to full term and give birth to a healthy baby. In fact, The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) estimates that about 65 percent of women who experience unexplained miscarriages go on to have a successful pregnancy. There are a variety of medical treatments available to help you successfully carry a baby to term, such as surgery, ovulation induction, progesterone therapy, in vitro fertilization, preimplantation genetic screening (PGS), and even the use of sperm or egg donors and surrogacy.
The most important thing we want you to know about pregnancy loss is that you’re never alone. Our team at AZCREI wants to be there for you and offer you support throughout your entire pregnancy journey, and help you have a healthy baby. To find out more about our treatment process or to schedule a visit, call us at (520) 326-0001 or visit us online.